Clint from Machinima
Clint from Machinima, otherwise known as Mint from Clachinima or Mach Front Clitoris, is an annoying businessman native to Machinima Land. He is best known for his harassment of Jokah and for his thousands of failed brands, the most infamous being a line of microwaveable pastas called High Times. In addition to being a businessman, Clint is also an avid birdwatcher and pizza delivery man. Appearance The businessman is normally seen wearing a fedora, sunglasses, a t-shirt, and jeans, though he's occasionally spotted in a soccer coach's outfit for unspecified reasons. When he calls potential clients and movie stars about his brand ideas, his face becomes ketchup-red with passionate intensity and becomes difficult and depressing to look at. When Clint appears on TV, he wears a blue sequin tuxedo despite backlash from the audience who once pelted him with balls of frozen salsa jelly. Brands and Ideas 'High Times' In the year 3,000 Not My Problem AD, Clint contacted the Jokah himself about a new brand of microwaveable pasta. Inspired by Jokah's Instagrope page, he decided ultimately to name it "High Times" as the pasta was to be mixed with marijuana and possibly small tablets of methamphetamine and rat poison. Jokah declined the offer, calling pasta "an Italian conspiracy to conquer the world" and Clint himself "a hefty piece of shit". Clint responding by calling the police, who showed up at Jokah's humble abode in under two minutes and vehemently arrested him for bad judgement. In the court hearing, Jokah testified against Clint himself as he couldn't find a lawyer who could put up with him long enough and claimed that he was being harassed and physically assaulted by the businessman. Clint, along with his nifty Machinima lawyers, easily won the case and sued him for twelve billion "good job" stickers. Jokah did not pass go or collect $200 but instead was put into Monopoly jail, where Clint contacted him via sky writing and offered to bail him out. Jokah responded by telling Clint to "fuck off" via a makeshift prison smoke signal and continued moping in his filthy cell; Clint, however, ignored his demand and bailed him out for approximately twelve billion "good job" stickers. The Jokah, of course, was deathly confused and asked, "What's your beef, Clint?". The businessman responded with a proposition for a new brand of disgusting poles of beef called Shrek Sticks, but Jokah once again swiftly declined the offer and began to run away. Clint hopped onto a hoverboard (the kind that you see in Back to the Future Part II and not the stupid new one) and pursued him, catching up with him in a matter of minutes. He shouted, "How'd you like to sponsor my new hover board, JoJo?" to which Jokah replied, "Leave me alone!". Clint rolled up his sleeve and pressed a button on his golden watch, causing the whole entire state of Wyoming to explode. When the media did not report on the incident as no one lives in Wyoming, Clint pressed a second button on his watch which caused Florida to explode. The media, of course, commented on this and when Clint was interviewed, he blamed Jokah. The clown boy was sent to jail a second time and was subsequently bailed out by the businessman for approximately twelve billion "good job" stickers. 'The Late Night Heckfest with Clint' "The Late Night Heckfest with Clint" is an early morning TV show starring Clint from Machinima as the host, Kyle the Keyboard Kuck as his musical assistant, and various special guests including Adolf Hitler, Captain Ahab, Charlie, and the shambling corspe of Larry King. The show's signature opening is upbeat and jazzy introduction music accompanied by Clint's line, "Hello, world! This is Clint from Machinima and welcome to the Late Night Heckfest with Clint!". The show was originally planned to have a G rating, but the rating immediately changed to mature audiences only when, on an episode guest-starring President Truckball, Clint said the word "penis" and murdered everyone in the entire audience, not in that order. Calls to Jokah are occasionally made on the show in a segment called "Let's call Jokah" in which Clint uses an old-fashioned telephone. Clint's new brand ideas are revealed on the show from time to time in this segment; though on an episode guest-starring Charlie, Jokah began reciting ancient Hindu curses over the phone and both Clint's and Charlie's ears began to bleed uncontrollably. The episode was cut short when Clint frantically begged for the cameras to be turned off and the building evacuated before the audience became hexed as well. 'Clint's Ultra Fire Rap Battles' When Clint was gravely ill with the measles, he had a fever dream that he rap-battled Jokah and made millions off of the hot track. The second he woke up, he began writing bars and consulting other rappers to battle with them. Small Glock Green, Between One and Three Metal Ropes, and Skittle all refused so he consulted an infinitely better rapper: Clint from Machinima. The first rap battle, Clint vs. Jokah, was a smash hit and broke a box office record earning $5,000,000,000,000 on the day it premiered on PornHub. Clint spent all of the money on fedoras, sunglasses, and an infinite supply of cheedar jack Cheez-Its. 'YouTube Sponsorship with Machinima' About six minutes ago, Clint called Jokah proposing a YouTube sponsorship from Machinima for Jokah's channel, JokahBoom. Jokah did not accept or decline this offer but instead said that Clint should call him at a better time; Clint, confused, simply stated that he wanted to get the best out of Jokah before he tragically died of ball cancer. Jokah began screaming at a frequency too high for humans to hear, but Clint's dog Woof from Machinima began barking aggressively and chasing its tail. Clint realized that this scream spelled impending doom and quickly hung up, barricaded his doors, and shut his blinds. A nuclear explosion went off in the distance and the Machinima building was horribly charred from the radiation; Clint survived the true JokahBoom. Quotes "This is Clint from Machinima!" "Can I call ya 'Jokah'?" "Did I not mention my name?" "Same time... same place?" "Jokaaaah..."